A vital part of being healthy is not just having a strong, fit body, you also need to have a strong, tough mind, one capable of withstanding tough times and maintaining a sense of balance and perspective. Building a tough body takes time and a lot of hard work. Building a tough mind is easy. Just support the England football (soccer) team.

Another day, another defeat for England's World Cup team

When you are exercising muscles you develop strength by stressing the muscle; as it recovers the muscle adds extra fibres to get bigger and stronger. It is the stressing of the muscle that helps build it up. It is the same with mental toughness. You need to stress the brain, to go through tough times, endure hardships and adversity to be able to develop the inner strength you need for god mental health.

Now no one in their right mind – and this is all about creating a right mind – would deliberately put themself through pain and suffering and anguish even if the end result was a healthier, more durable mind. But the good news is you don’t have to work hard to get that. It all comes naturally to supporters of the England football team.

Every World Cup that comes around the England team – if they even qualify – go in to the competition confident of their chances to win the whole thing. It’s not surprising really. The English invented the game, the English Premier League is the best in the world, and English teams often dominate European competitions. The problem is, many of the best players on those teams are not English and the best English players have consistently shown they are not good enough when faced by the best of the rest of the world.

End Result; Heartbreak

Every time English fans go into a World Cup game thinking ‘this time it will be different’. By the time the referee blows the whistle for the end of the match they have come to the sad realization that it’s exactly the same as it’s always been. Defeat. Pain. Frustration.

On the bright side that constant sense of frustration helps you develop the mental equivalent of a tough hide and that can be really useful in all walks of life.

Tough Times Breed Tough People

A few years ago a friend of mine was doing an in-depth series of studies on mental health in South East Asia as part of a Fellowship he won with the Rosalynn Carter Mental Health Journalism program. His Fellowship coincided with the 2004 tragic tsunami that killed an estimated quarter of a million people. In the immediate aftermath of the tsunami there was lots of speculation that there would be tremendous levels of mental health problems in the months and years to come with people suffering from the equivalent of post traumatic stress disorder.

Village destroyed by tsunami

Several months after the tsunami Greg traveled to Thailand to see what kind of impact the event had on the mental health of people living in the hardest hit areas. To everyone’s surprise there wasn’t that much evidence to suggest people were suffering at dramatically higher levels than usual. It turns out that people in those communities devastated by the tsunami already had such a tough life that they were better able to cope with the tragedy. It’s not that they were emotionally unaffected by the loss of so many friends and family, it’s just that the day-to-day hardships of their lives had prepared them to endure something that would have left most of us a wreck.

An Easier Route To Toughness

The vast majority of people in the US, Europe and other developed countries don’t have any such hardships on a regular basis to toughen us up so we have to find other ways.

English fans have a cross to bear

That’s why supporting England is so useful. It will guarantee you heartbreak on almost every occasion and leave you better equipped for anything life can throw at you.

But just in case England one day surprises me and does win something I’ve taken out extra insurance. Since moving to San Francisco I have supported the Giants baseball team. They haven’t won the World Series since 1954. And while England only disappoint every four years, the Giants do so every year. It’s like having a refresher course every summer.

So even if England let me down by winning one day, I know my faithful Giants will take up the slack and keep me mentally strong.

Some people might call it lazy, others might say it’s an inspired way of opening people up to the creative possibilities of the commercial arts and the joy of the World Cup. Of course some people call my resume a self-serving fabrication. Actually I think that was me, and I’m right, it is. Nonetheless instead of writing a lengthy diatribe on poor health habits or an homage to a new way of viewing the world, I wanted to share this with you.

It won’t change your life

It won’t make you lose weight or forgive that miserable friend who betrayed you. It won’t make you go to the gym more often or decide to get actively involved in local politics. But it will make you smile and appreciate that for just a few weeks the vast majority of the people on this planet are joined in one single activity; watching the best players in the world play the most beautiful game in the world.

Don’t think so. Then just watch this

www.youtube.com/watch?v=idLG6jh23yE

www.youtube.com/watch?v=idLG6jh23yE

I have played many sports in my life; everything from football (soccer) to tennis and basketball, rugby, even cricket god help me! People have used many adjectives to describe my performance – enthusiastic, determined, crap – but one word that has never been used is ‘elegant’.

Just like the daring young man on the flying trapeze (OK, that reference dates me) some people are able to move around on the sports field with the greatest of ease. Muhammad Ali could glide around the boxing ring seemingly effortlessly (always impressive considering that 50 percent of the other people in the ring were trying to knock his block off). Argentine soccer deity Diego Maradona could dribble a ball past defenders without seeming to break sweat. But for me, it’s a very different picture.

Everything I do seems to require a lot of effort, and it shows. Watch me running and it looks as if I’m working really hard. Watch me playing squash and it looks as if I’m flailing around the court, constantly two steps behind my opponent – sadly, that’s because I usually am.

Now there is a fellow at the club I go to, let’s call him Todd! Before Shirley and I knew his name we used to refer to him as “Elegant Man” because he moves around so smoothly, seemingly never in a hurry to chase the ball, but always there in time to hit a wonderful shot and then just as elegantly slide back into position for the next shot.

He’s terrific to watch. And very frustrating because I know I will probably never be able to do what he does, with the same ease and grace that he does.

Of course that doesn’t stop me trying. I figure even if I can’t get around as sweetly as he does, at least I can still get there. It may not be as pretty or as lovely to watch, but my body is working out just as hard and my heart and lungs and legs and everything else is working just as hard.

So next time you see someone really struggling to run or bike or swim don’t feel sorry for them. They’re out there working as hard as they can. It may not look pretty. It may not feel pretty. But in the end it’s the effort you put in not how smooth you look that really counts.

note from shirl:  You always look more elegant than me, Babe!

One of my favorite things to do on the weekend is to walk down to the Marina Green in San Francisco and watch little kids play soccer. Most of the kids are only around 6 or 7 years old but all of them are immaculately turned out in matching shirts (often with their name on the back) shorts and socks.

But while their kits are perfectly coordinated their legs and bodies definitely are not. The kids all run around together in a pack, flailing away at the ball. They have no sense of position or form or style – which is exactly how it should be at that age – their sole purpose is to kick the ball in the general direction of their opponent’s goal. Or sometimes just to kick the ball without really caring which way it goes.

There is something utterly beguiling about watching these kids run around like this. Their parents on the sidelines are gently urging them on without trying to be too pushy or say anything that might hurt an opposing player’s feelings. The referees run around trying to instruct the players on the rules and what they should be doing, as they try to keep the game flowing.

My favorite part is watching a kid who suddenly finds himself with the ball but is facing the wrong way; he or she has no ability to just pull the ball back with their foot and move the other way, instead they have to stop the ball, then run around to the other side so that they are facing the right direction, and then go from there.

It’s hilarious. And terribly sweet.

My only problem is that between the kits and parents and referees and medals afterwards for showing up it’s all a bit too organized. Quite frankly, I think kids that age should be more engaged in disorganized than organized sports.

They should be turned loose on an unmarked field, with a ball and their own imaginations. Forget the rules, life and its rules will come soon enough, let them just run around and make it up as they go along.

Let them figure out their own rules and learn negotiating skills. Let them pick their own teams and learn valuable lessons about balance and diplomacy – and for the less skilled, that life isn’t always fair or easy and doesn’t give you a medal just for showing up.

Disorganized sports isn’t as clean and pretty and well equipped as organized sports. But for the kids it allows them to develop their own imagination, to create their own rules, to learn much more valuable lessons than the offside rule. It allows them to run around and have fun and figure out if they really like soccer or are just doing it because their mum or dad drove them there and bought them the outfit.

So many of the kids you see on a Saturday are there because their parents want them to be. And I can understand that. It’s very cute to see your little Tabitha or Sebastian running around, in a perfectly matched outfit, running around and being active – and lord knows we should do everything we can to encourage every kid to be active – but when that level of organization gets in the way of the kids creating something far more interesting in a disorganized fashion then we are missing out on something much more important. We’re stopping kids creating their own world.

The Seven Dwarfs were walking through the forest one day when suddenly, they fell into a deep, dark ravine. Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the chasm and called out to the dwarfs, “are you alright?”

From the depths of the dark hole she heard a voice saying, “The Raiders will be Super Bowl contenders this year.”

“Thank god” Snow White said to herself, “At least Dopey’s survived!”

Can you believe it’s almost football season again. Already! In honor of that here are some Dallas Cowboy jokes.

Q: What do they call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.

Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car, who’s driving?
A: The police.

Q: Why can’t Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore?
A: It’s a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

As the teams are already getting ready for another football season and the 49ers and Raiders look like sucking yet again, those of us in the San Francisco area need a little humor to get us ready for the pain that lies ahead.

Two guys are talking about their boss’s upcoming wedding.

One says, “It’s ridiculous, he’s rich, but he’s 93 years old, and she’s just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?”

The other says, “Well, we have a name for it in my family.”

“What do you call it?”

“We call it a football wedding.”

The first asks, “What’s a football wedding?”

The other says, “She’s waiting for him to kick off!”