Having Sex With the Kardashians

by admin on July 27, 2011

I read something recently about ways to get more people to visit your website and read your blog. Most of them had nothing to do with improving the quality of your writing, making the content snappier and punchier, more thoughtful or even funnier. Most were merely about the simple mechanics and tricks you can use to lure people to your website.

Probably not the Kardashians

Like putting headlines such as the one on this blog. That gets enough people to click on the link to your site so that the numbers for your blog go way up.

False advertising

But then you have to wonder. The headline might lure people to the site but  once they realized they’d been tricked did they stick around long enough to read what was there?

It reminded me of a story about an evangelist preacher’s efforts to reach out to people in New York’s Times Square, many years ago when the place was a cesspool of drug dealers, strip joints and sex shows (gosh, I wrote that as it that was a bad thing!). The preacher rented a store front and painted the door with gaudy colors and put up a big neon sign that said “Completely Naked” and an arrow pointing to a small window. When people looked through the window they saw themselves, in a mirror, and a sign above it that said “You stand before God.”

I thought, “Wow, how clever and creative.” But then I thought, “And how many people’s minds did that change?”

Honesty is the best policy – usually

It’s certainly a fun gimmick, but like all gimmicks if you lead people to your site under false pretenses the likelihood is great that, when they discover the hoax, they’ll not only leave in a hurry, they’ll also leave in a huff. Maybe you’ll get a few to stick around and think about the things that you care about, but in most cases they’ll just head off to another site that really talks either about sex or the Kardashians or both.

So, if you have read this far after being lured here by that misleading headline I apologize. Thanks for sticking with this. Feel free to head off to TMZ or some other celebrity gossip site that really does deliver the goods you thought you were going to get. And I promise I’ll never do this again. Next time I’ll use a rumor about Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen buying the Betty Ford Clinic to lure you in.

Come to think of it, that does sound really intriguing doesn’t it?

 

 

{ 0 comments }

Bouncing Back – Again, and Again, and Again

by admin on July 25, 2011

The human body is an amazing thing. Think of all the abuse it takes over the years and yet it still manages to perform into, in most cases, a ripe old age.

Think of how much junk we pump into it that it doesn’t need – how much fat and salt and sugar and chemicals of various kinds disguised as food.

The tale of the tape

Think of how many calories we consume that we don’t need – almost 600 in a Big Mac alone, and that’s without the fries and soda – that just sit on our hips adding pound after pound to our weight and inch after inch to our girth

Too much

Think of all the physical activity we don’t get because our jobs are sedentary and are so far from our homes that we have to travel either in a car or by public transportation.

So, it’s no wonder that over the years we get larger. What is a wonder is that our bodies somehow manage to endure all this and still keep functioning at a pretty high rate, still keep moving, even if we start to move a little slower and with a tad less grace and elegance than in the past.

Your loss is your gain

And then one day we lose weight, or we start to workout and we tone up our muscles and people come up to us and say “hey, you’re looking really good these days, what are you doing?”

And we notice that we feel better. Our clothes aren’t so tight or they’re even loose! We sleep better. We have more energy. We look better. Our eyes are brighter, our skin clearer.

Yet despite all that we all too often slip back into old habits. You’ve probably heard the statistic, that around 95% of people who lose weight on a diet put it back on – and in many cases add a few extra pounds just for good luck. Why is that? Well, one obvious reason is that we are surrounded by temptation every where we go. You can’t walk down the street without seeing a store or restaurant selling you calorie-laden, junk-filled foods. You can’t go to the office without some well-meaning soul (maybe it’s you) bringing in cakes or muffins or cookies (how come no one ever brings in broccoli florets). The things that proved our undoing in the first place are all around us. And you can’t open up a magazine or newspaper, watch a TV show or go online without being bombarded by yet more ads for yet more tempting foods.

But it’s more than just temptation. It’s habit. We use food to console us when we’re down. We use it to reward us when we feel we’ve done something good. We use it as an occasion to hang out with friends. We use it as a courtship ritual when we go out on a date with someone.

It’s with us every single day of our lives but when was the last time you seriously thought about what you are eating, not just at that meal, but at every meal, with every product you buy?

Without being aware of what we are doing, of what we are putting into our mouth, it’s all to easy to slip back into old habits, to see the numbers on the bathroom scale slowly rise.

Bouncing back

But remember, if you lost it once, you can lose it again. And this time, knowing where you went wrong last time,  you can avoid those same pitfalls. Maybe you’ll find new pitfalls, but then you learn from those and bounce back again.

You know how good you felt, how good you looked when you were doing the right thing. That’s an awfully powerful incentive to stop doing the wrong thing and recapture that feeling isn’t it.

 

{ 0 comments }

Silencing the Demons

by admin on July 17, 2011

You’ve got to love a man who writes books about the Tour de France, King Arthur, horse racing and the fabulously titled tome “The Elderly Writer’s Guide to Indifferent Young Women’.

The gent in question is Graeme Fife, an English writer, essayist, poet, broadcaster and obviously a lover of sports and women – even if the feelings are not always returned.

Graeme Fife knows pain

I came across him recently in a cafe in San Francisco. Not him in the flesh you understand, but his words, his spirit. Appropriately enough we had popped in for a coffee and to watch the latest round of the Tour de France. High on the wall, above the massive video screens was the following quote:

“The greatest battle is not physical but psychological. The demons telling us to give up when we push ourselves to the limit can never be silenced for good. They must always be answered by the quiet, the steady dignity that simply refuses to give in. Courage. We all suffer. Keep going”

It was one of the simplest, yet most eloquent expression of the struggle we all face in trying to quieten the voices inside our head that tell us we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough, not worthy enough. Those voices may pop up  in a race up and down the mountains of southern France, or a tennis match with an old friend, or just in every day life, but one way or another we’re all victims of them.

I found the words wonderful because they are a reminder that just as we are struggling to get through, to succeed, or sometimes simply just to hold on, others are going through exactly the same thing. The doubts and uncertainties, the crises of confidence or faith, the insecurities that we are feeling, are felt by millions of others all around the world.

We none of us are free of these demons. Sometimes they win, beating us into submission. Sometimes we win. And it’s those triumphs, however few and far between, that ultimately keep us pushing forward.

Dreams don’t come cheap. Success doesn’t come easily, or last. It’s a daily struggle. A lifelong battle. And it’s only at the end that we can see if we have held true to ourselves, to our hopes, and tried our best.

We may not have won, but in fighting, in trying, in persevering we have found something even greater than an occasional victory. We have found ourselves.

 

{ 0 comments }

Motivating Ideas for Exercise

by admin on June 29, 2011

Kevin and I have an exercise routine!  That is the first step in getting motivated to exercise on a weekly basis, have some kind of routine.  Sometimes we play squash, sometimes we take hikes and sometimes we just go to the gym and workout.  Lately, due to little nagging injuries, we’ve been working out at the gym 3 to 5 times a week and not playing squash.

Our workouts are 3o minutes of aerobics followed by 3o minutes of free weights or core muscle exercises.  It’s not really exciting, and I’d rather be playing squash because my idea of exercise is doing something fun and physical.   Working out at the gym for an hour just doesn’t keep me motivated so in order to keep me motivated I like to play some psychological mind games to me going.

Most of the time I’ll tell myself that I really won’t do anything for the full 30 minute time allotment.  I’ll set the stairmaster to 30 minutes but I’ll tell myself I’ll really stop at 25.  Right?  Wrong…everytime I get to the 25 minute mark I always rationalize….”Well, it’s only 5 minutes more why not continue, but if I want to stop I can.

I don’t know why I do that, but for some reason it gives me permission to continue to exercise for the full 30 minutes.  I guess it’s because I have an out.  It’s silly, I know, so I thought I’d take a quiz on what motivates people to exercise.  What works and what doesn’t?  It’s pretty revealing what motivates folks to exercise.  It turns out my method is unique. (no one else seems to use my tried and true mind game)

An article published in the Idea Fitness  Journal in 2006, authored by Jim Gavin, Madeleine McBrearty and Daniel Sequin reviewed more than 250 studies about exercise psychology to try to find out what motivates us, why and how we participate in exercise.  They came up with a quiz that is pretty revealing about why we are motivated to exercise.

For instance,

Q: According to the studies reviewed, what is the most important motive for exercise for all age groups and genders?

To lose weight or tone up

 

 

To improve health

 

 

 

To have fun

 

 

 

To meet men/women

 

 

 

I chose: To lose weight  and tone up – Wrong!

According to the studies reviewed, what is the most important motive for exercise for all age groups and genders?

is:

To improve health

 

Q: What is one of the most important motivators for exercise?

Tracking progress on a regular basis

 

 

Seeing significant results

 

 

 

Scheduling workouts just like other appointments

 

 

 

Having support from family and friends

 

 

 

I chose: Seeing significant results.  Wrong!

 

The correct answer to:

What is one of the most important motivators for exercise?

is:

Having support from family and friends

Q: According to the studies reviewed, which of the following activities offers the most body satisfaction in women?

Hatha yoga

 

 

Aerobics

 

 

 

Strength Training

 

 

 

Watching TV

 

 

 

I chose aerobics:  Wrong!

The correct answer to:

According to the studies reviewed, which of the following activities offers the most body satisfaction in women?

is:

Hatha yoga

Q: In a study of middle-aged women, which group of exercisers showed more concern about body image and weight?

Women who don’t have kids

 

 

Women who exercise regularly

 

 

 

Women who don’t exercise regularly

 

 

 

Women who work less hours

 

 

 

I chose:  Women who exercise regularly.  Wrong!

The correct answer to:

In a study of middle-aged women, which group of exercisers showed more concern about body image and weight?

is:

Women who don’t exercise regularly

It went on like that and so it turns out, I don’t know “Jack” about what motivates people to exercise!

All I know is that I exercise because I don’t really like it, unless I ‘m playing squash and I exercise because I don’t have to!  I can stop whenever I want.  (That’s my mind game, and my motivation and I’m sticking to it! What’s yours?)

 

{ 0 comments }

A Salt On Our Intelligence!

by admin on June 27, 2011

For years we have been told that salt is bad for us, that it increases our risk of high blood pressure, which in turn increases our risk of heart disease and stroke. We were told to try and reduce our salt intake, to look out for high levels of salt in processed foods and even in soda and bread. But now a new study comes along and says ‘nah, don’t worry, it’s not a big deal after all.”

Healthy food!

In fact this new study from Europe even has the temerity to suggest that high consumption might have some benefits. As my dear old mother would say, WTF! Though in her case it stands for “well, that’s funny”

This study followed 3,681 middle-aged Europeans (don’t you love how precise they are, not almost 3700 or more than 3600 but exactly 3,681) who didn’t have high blood pressure or heart disease at the start of the study. They were divided into three groups: low salt intake, moderate salt intake and high salt intake. There were 50 deaths in the low salt group, 24 in the moderate group and just 10 in the high salt group.

More salt less risk

The biggest shocker – based on all that we’d been warned about for years – was that the heart disease risk in the low salt group was 56 percent higher than the high salt group. So the less salt the study participants consumed the more likely they were to die of heart disease.

You mean all those years of not lavishing salt on my fish and chips were wasted!!!

What’s up with that!

What’s going on here? Is this just one of those aberrations where one research group comes up with a finding that is different from everything that has gone before, or is this that rare beast that shows that everything else that came before was rubbish and wrong! And the groups that have been telling us that salt is bad for us are not exactly scientific lightweights. They include the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the American Medical Association, and the American Heart Association.

Well, the first thing to do here, as with all studies, is to look at who did it. This one is published by the Business School of Happiness which, despite the great name doesn’t carry quite the same weight as, say Harvard Medical School. The second thing is to look at what the study is promoting. If you follow the news release promoting it closely you find out that it links you to a new book that promotes, well, the new book. OK, two strikes against it so far. But the biggest strike is the third one, and that this pretty much contradicts everything that has gone before.

One of the best things you can do is never base anything you do on one study, no matter how much you would like to. There are thousands of new studies that come out every month, some are bound to contradict others that have gone before. The key is to look at the overall weight of the evidence not just the bits that suit you. In this case, most evidence, most studies, most scientific bodies still say salt is a problem, that it is linked to a higher risk of heart disease and stroke and so you really should try and limit your consumption of it.

To say otherwise, based on this one study, would be to insalt your intelligence.

 

 

{ 2 comments }

The Lazy Way to Write

by admin on June 24, 2011

I was going to write something about an amazing decision tree I came across but after hours of messing around with graphics and images I couldn’t get it to translate onto the blog.

Then I was going to write about a new study that says salt really isn’t bad for you after all! What! I know, after all we’ve been told about how bad it is for us now they come out and say “ahhhh, not so bad.” Bloody researchers – why can’t they make up their minds.

But then I saw this article from the Guardian newspaper in the UK and I thought – now this is a great way to end the week. A diet, radical and tough to stick on, that seems to be able to cure people with type 2 diabetes.

It’s amazing stuff. And I’m shameless enough to borrow it and reproduce it here. I think news as important as this needs to be spread as far and wide as possible.

Low-calorie diet offers hope of cure for type 2 diabetes

British study finds two-month extreme diet can cure type 2 diabetes and overturns assumptions about ‘lifelong’ condition

People who have had obesity-related type 2 diabetes for years have been cured, at least temporarily, by keeping to an extreme, low-calorie, diet for two months, scientists report today.The discovery, reported by scientists at Newcastle University, overturns previous assumptions about type 2 diabetes, which was thought to be a lifelong illness.

In the UK about two and a half million people have been diagnosed with diabetes, the large majority with type 2, and numbers are rising across much of the world. The condition has to be controlled with drugs and eventually insulin injections. It can cause blindness and end in foot amputation, as well as shortening life.

The results of the Newcastle investigation, though the study was small, demonstrated that full recovery was possible, not through drugs but through diet.

Eleven people with diabetes took part in the study, which was funded by Diabetes UK. They had to slash their food intake to just 600 calories a day for two months. But three months later seven of the 11 were free of diabetes.

“To have people free of diabetes after years with the condition is remarkable – and all because of an eight-week diet,” said Roy Taylor, professor at Newcastle University, who led the study. “This is a radical change in understanding type 2 diabetes. It will change how we can explain it to people newly diagnosed with the condition. While it has long been believed that someone with type 2 diabetes will always have the disease, and that it will steadily get worse, we have shown that we can reverse the condition.”

Type 2 diabetes, which used to be known as adult onset, is caused by too much glucose in the blood. It is strongly linked to obesity, unlike type 1, which usually develops in children whose bodies are unable to make the hormone insulin to convert glucose from food into energy. They need daily insulin injections.

The research, presented today at the American Diabetes Association conference, shows that an extremely low-calorie diet, consisting of diet drinks and non-starchy vegetables, prompts the body to remove the fat clogging the pancreas and preventing it from making insulin.

The volunteers were closely supervised by a medical team and matched with the same number of volunteers with diabetes who did not get the special diet. After just one week into the study, the pre-breakfast blood sugar levels of the study group had returned to normal. And MRI scans showed that the fat levels in the pancreas had returned to normal. The pancreas regained its ability to make insulin.

After the eight-week diet the volunteers returned to normal eating but had advice on healthy foods and portion size. Ten of the group were retested and seven had stayed free of diabetes.

Taylor, the director of the Newcastle Magnetic Resonance Centre, had the idea for the study after it was shown that diabetes was reversed in people who had undergone stomach stapling or other forms of bariatric surgery because of obesity. “What was remarkable was that the diabetes went away over the course of one week. It was widely believed the operation itself had done something, [that] the hormones in the gut were thought to be the cause. That is almost universally believed.”

Taylor thought the massive drop in calorie intake after surgery could be responsible and to test this hypothesis set up the study, which included MRI scans of the pancreas to look at any changes in the fatty deposits.

“We believe this shows that type 2 diabetes is all about energy balance in the body,” said Taylor. “If you are eating more than you burn, then the excess is stored in the liver and pancreas as fat, which can lead to type 2 diabetes in some people. What we need to examine further is why some people are more susceptible to developing diabetes than others.”

He warned that only a minority of people, perhaps 5% or 10%, would be able to stick to the harsh diet necessary to get rid of diabetes. But even that, he said, would dramatically improve the health of many people and save the NHS millions.

Iain Frame, director of research at Diabetes UK, said people should not embark on such a diet without a doctor’s approval and help. “We welcome the results of this research because it shows that type 2 diabetes can be reversed, on a par with successful surgery without the side effects.

“However, this diet is not an easy fix and Diabetes UK strongly recommends that such a drastic diet should only be undertaken under medical supervision. Despite [it] being a very small trial, we look forward to future results, particularly to see whether the reversal remains long term.”

Gordon Parmley, 67, of Stocksfield, Newcastle upon Tyne, a trial participant, said he first noticed something was wrong when his vision went “fuzzy” and he had trouble focusing while playing golf. He had been on medication since being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes six years ago.

He said: “When my doctor mentioned the trial I thought I’d give it a go, as it might help me and other diabetics. I came off my tablets and had three diet shakes a day and some salad or vegetables, but it was very, very, difficult and I’m not sure I’d have done it without the support of my wife, who went on a diet alongside me.

” At first the hunger was quite severe and I had to distract myself with something else – walking the dog, playing golf, or doing anything to occupy myself and take my mind off food. But I lost an astounding amount of weight in a short space of time.

“At the end of the trial I was told my insulin levels were normal, and after six years I no longer needed my diabetes tablets. Still today, 18 months on, I don’t take them.

“It’s astonishing really that a diet – hard as it was – could change my health so drastically. After six years of having diabetes I can tell the difference. I feel better, even walking round the golf course is easier.”

 

 

{ 0 comments }

Imagination Is Real!

by admin on June 20, 2011

My hypnotherapy clients come in for all sorts of issues that are getting in the way of them living the life they want!  Whether their problem is poor self-esteem, weight, anxiety, blocks, or addiction, they all want to be free of the problem.  Yet their problems have become so familiar and comfortable to them they almost hold it like an old teddy bear, taking it with them where ever they go or what ever phase of their life they embark upon.

They feel safe and comfortable with this annoying, unwelcome friend until, finally, they decide to let go.

That’s when I come in

I’ll have a client tell me, “Well, I’ve always been anxious and worried”.  I wonder, did someone tell them that?  How does one become “labeled” with a behavior?  Is it like being told you are “gifted” or “smart”?   If it’s that simple, then all of us would tell our kids, “Gee, you are so smart” or “talented” or “gifted” right?  But I find that many latch on to sour labels, negative thinking and they live their lives thinking that they have no choice.

That’s when I tell them about imagination.  You know imagination don’t you?  Look around at where you are sitting right now….Everything you see is there because someone “imagined” it.  Right.  The lamp, the rug, the desk the computer I’m typing on was the result of someone’s imagination.  I just love that!

It's All In Your Mind!

I help my clients see the power that imagination has in our lives.  It is a very powerful thing and I don’t have to prove it to them because they can see the proof right before their eyes.  Then I tell them, if someone used their imagination to create all the things we see before us, why can’t you use imagination to create the life you would like to live?   Imagine what life would be to be free of the problems you have been hauling around.  Think of it, you can be free of thinking about weight, free of creating worry in your life, free of being afraid and anxious.

Sounds easy doesn’t it?  I had someone tell me long ago, “Wow, right…if it was only that easy.”  Well, it isn’t that easy, because you have to re-train your brain.  That’s right, we all have thoughts and those thoughts turn into choices and those choices become behaviors, and those behaviors become the way you live your life.  So if you worry about the past or the future you make the choice to drag it around with you and you feel anxious or fearful or just simply not complete which causes you to feel anxious.  If you feel anxious you become tense, your nervous system is put on alert your body creates stress to deal with the anxious feeling.  The stress and the tension create a tense, unhealthy environment and your body can’t work to it’s fullest potential so all systems are compromised, like your immune system, and your heart, and your quality of health.

You have the choice

Maybe it isn’t a conscious choice but one that is subliminal, as David Eagleman observes in his book about the mysteries of the brain, “Incognito”, “Brains are in the business of gathering information and steering behavior appropriately.  It doesn’t matter whether consciousness is involved in the decision making.  And most of the time, it’s not.”  When I work with guided imagery and hypnosis, we give the subconscious “new orders” and that information will be put into the mix and worked on day and night to achieve the wanted outcome.

Do It Yourself!

You too can re-train your brain to notice the thoughts that do not benefit you.  It’s just your ego needing some drama to keep you worried or anxious, but you have the right to choose which thoughts you have in your mind.  You have the right to let go of thoughts that no longer benefit you.  You can re-train your brain and create a life you want.  It’s all perception anyway.  You have the right to create a “belief” system that works for you and be the master of your own thoughts.

Just imagine.

{ 0 comments }

Housing and Health

by admin on June 14, 2011

When you think of health you typically think of things like diet and exercise and doctors and drugs. But there’s another key component that often gets overlooked in being able to live a healthy life. If the house you live in is a downtrodden, or  bad neighborhood, or the house itself is crummy and in a crappy neighborhood and surrounded by derelict buildings, trash-strewn streets graffiti, it’s hard enough just to survive without fretting about living a balanced healthy lifestyle.

Take San Francisco for instance. There are some neighborhoods that have almost no grocery stores. If you want to buy fresh produce you have to travel several miles to a supermarket. If you don’t have a car that means a long bus ride, or two buses. Try carrying home a week’s worth of groceries for a family on the bus. Not much fun. So housing, the kind you have, the location, the surrounding community, all play a role in how healthy you are.

While most of us may not think about things like this, our friend Colin Wiles, a community housing consultant in England does… so we wanted to share his latest blog with you.  It may give you something to think about and realise (that’s the English spelling of the word) that health is a hugely complex issue.

Health and Housing – where is the joined up thinking?

Colin Wiles

Published by Colin Wiles on Tuesday, June 14th, 2011 

So the proposed National Health Service (NHS – the English health care system) reforms are being watered down, but the principle of GP commissioning remains (General Practitioner – their name for a family doctor), albeit with other professionals now included on local panels.

Professor Field’s report emphasises the importance of prevention rather than cure, but where does housing feature in the health debate? Nineteenth century reformers, from Chadwick onwards understood that bad housing conditions led to bad health outcomes. In the nineteenth century and throughout much of the twentieth century the emphasis was on improving housing conditions and sanitation as a route to better health. But in recent decades there has been a decline in interest in this link, perhaps because the most intractable health problems have been solved. But inequalities in health still remain, and many of these are linked to poor housing.

The British Medical Association estimates that multiple housing deprivation poses a health risk that is on the same scale as smoking and, on average, greater than the dangers of excessive alcohol intake. Numerous government commissions and reports have called for joined up working between health and housing bodies, but the reality on the ground, from my own experience, is that health and housing professionals rarely take a strategic view of these issues.

A few years ago I was responsible for building a scheme in the community for elderly patients with mental health problems. Some of them came from the local “asylum”; in fact one poor chap had been incarcerated there for 40 years. Within a year all of the residents were showing huge improvements in their mental health and they were all able to live more or less independent lives. The scheme was expensive, about £1.5 million (approx. $2.5m) in capital costs and £250,000 (around $410,000)  in annual running costs, but how do you set that against the savings to the NHS resulting from the improved mental and physical health of these patients?

Is there an actuarial office somewhere, like Charles Dickens’ Circumlocution Office, totting up the costs and savings of such schemes and arriving at a final tally? I don’t think so. This is why the health and wellbeing boards that are proposed for each local authority area are such a positive development.

Why shouldn’t GP commissioners decide that some of their budget should be diverted from hospital provision and spent on decent housing for people with mental health problems, or for recovering alcoholics, or improving bad housing where multiple health problems exist?

Prevention rather than cure. Indeed, what about combining the budgets of the HCA and the NHS so that we take an all-embracing view of health and housing? Some joined up thinking in this area is long overdue.

{ 0 comments }

The Power of Failure

by admin on June 12, 2011

Have you noticed that failure seems to be a popular subject to talk and write about lately? Not the nasty-feeling-you-get-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach-when-something-you-have-been-working-on-for-ages-crashes-and-burns kind of failure, but the salutary lessons and life-affirming power of failure. Yeah, I’m not so sure I buy that either but read on.

It sucks because he did too

The first article I read lately about the importance of failure was by James Dyson in Newsweek, writing about the 5,000 mistakes he made on the way to creating the most popular vacuum cleaner in the world. He wrote that it didn’t really bother him too much – “I’m particularly adept at making mistakes – it’s a necessity as an engineer” – because with each mistake he learned something new and with each correction of each mistake his product got better.

In the end it worked out for him. He’s now a billionaire.

Then I was reading the Sunday New York Times and it had a series of excerpts of college commencement speeches given by the great and the good. Most of them seemed to go over very similar ground – essentially don’t be scared of making mistakes, because if you don’t push the limits of what you know you’ll never achieve anything worthwhile.

For instance, Daniel Akerson, the CEO at General Motors said “Acknowledge your mistakes, learn from then and move on. Don’t be afraid of new ideas; be afraid of old ones.”

Steve Blank, a technology entrepreneur talked about building up a business, hitting it big, then crashing, then starting all over again. “Honest failure is a badge of experience. All of you will fail at some time in your career, or in love or in life. No one ever sets out to fail. But being afraid to fail means you’ll be afraid to try.”

Even Tavis Smiley, the host of television and radio shows for which he interviews political leaders, artists and activists has a new book out called, “Fail Up” all about the lessons he has learned from failure which he says helped him to become a success!

If all this is true how come I’m not a huge success? My life is littered with failures, big and small, from failing to appreciate that the object in my rear view mirror was a lot closer as I tried to back my car into a parking space, to failing to keep my mouth shut when seeing a female acquaintance for the first time in months and asking “wow, congratulations, when is the baby due?” only to find out she wasn’t pregnant.

When I was in school and messed up on a test the teacher didn’t praise me and say my failure was evidence of great things, instead he wrote “It would be hard to do worse” (he did, honest – he was later arrested for child molestation – clearly evidence of a much bigger failing on his part)

At my many and various jobs I don’t recall any boss ever saying “Good job Kevin, this sucks. Well done.”

So, I guess I’m saying that while it’s all well and fine for folks to stand up there and tell college students that it’s grand and good and great to try and fail, the reality is that failure is never fun, and it’s never recognized as being important in its own right until many years later – and only then if you succeed big time.

Some people have an idea they are passionate about and work tirelessly to bring it to fruition, ignoring repeated failures and the advice of all their friends and colleagues that they should forget it. In the case of someone like James Dyson that single-minded determination to rise above those failures ends in triumph and fame and riches. But think about how many people have really bad ideas and really should stop and listen to their friends and try something new.

Knowing you have a great idea and purpose in life and following it is a wonderful thing. The problem occurs when you fail to realize that that’s not a description of you, that your idea really does suck. And not in a good way like the Dyson vacuum cleaner.

 

 

{ 2 comments }

6 Simple Steps to Reduce Stress

by admin on June 9, 2011

So many of my clients come to me and say, “I’m so stressed out!”  In fact, just walking down the street you can see for yourself the people who look like they simply hate their world.  I have a simple 6 step remedy to take some of the stress out of your life so you can put a smile on your face and a snap in your step.

You might feel like you have too much to do and you  never get it all done.

1) Get a To Do List

Make a list each day of the things you absolutely have to do, things you need to do, and things you’d like to do.  That way you can meet your deadlines and get things done with a confident, focused mind.

You might feel like everyone is asking you for something.

2) Learn to say No.

Be polite, be apologetic, be filled with regret, but be honest.  If you can’t do what you are being asked to do, or if doing it would cause you a lot of grief and stress…just say no!

You might be in a rush to get things done.

3) Do it right the first time.

Often we think we can cut corners and rush something through.  When we do something slap-dash, oftentimes we have to do it again. It may take a little longer to do it right the first time, but it will save you time on the redo.

You might feel like you procrastinate.

4) Use the 10 minute rule.

Pick a task you don’t want to do, and spend ten minutes doing it.  Chances are that at the end of the 10 minutes the task is done or well on it’s way.  If it’s done, it won’t be hanging over your head or keeping you awake at night.  If it’s begun you might feel like spending a little more time to finish or feel thankful that it is on it’s way to being completed.

You might feel tired, bored, or listless.

5)  Sleep and exercise regularly

Burning that midnight oil makes you tired, cranky and inefficient.  It also impairs your immune system, making you vulnerable to sickness.  Exercising regularly keeps you healthy, reduces your stress level, and gives you energy.  Take care of yourself and you’ll stay focused, productive, and efficient.

You might feel overwhelmed.

6) Take a break.

Stop, breathe, have a cup of coffee or tea, go for a walk, read a magazine or a book for a few minutes.  Just break away, even briefly from what you are doing.  The odds are that you’ll feel sharper and be better able to focus on the task at hand after you’ve taken a mini-break from it.

The lesson here is to take care of yourself!  Listen to your mind and body.  Treat yourself like you were your own best friend.  You are worth it!

{ 0 comments }

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →