I used to work with a man, let’s call him Jerry. Every year, when he went to his doctor for a physical and was asked what his height was he would add an inch to the previous year’s number. The reason he said was BMI, body mass index, the ratio of a person’s height to their weight that many physicians use as a gauge of whether you are overweight.

Jerry said he wanted his height to increase to compensate for his expanding waist and increasing height. That way his BMI would remain pretty much the same from year to year and his doctor wouldn’t ask him to go on a diet.

“I’m not overweight, I’m just under height” was his explanation.

A well-rounded figure

Apparently Jerry is not the only one doing this. A new study out says that when people are asked to provide their own weight in research surveys they underestimate their weight and overestimate their height. Women are worse than men at doing this. And white women are the worst of all for fudging the numbers.

Now, the researchers, in the journal Ethnicity and Disease say this is not a big deal and people don’t over or underestimate by a lot, just enough to throw the BMI measurement off by a point or two. Which is good news for the researchers because it means their findings are still close enough to the truth to be valid.

But it’s not such good news for ordinary people. I know none of us like to admit we might be a little overweight and so it doesn’t hurt to lie to someone asking us about our weight. Particularly if we’re only off by a small amount.  But who are we really fooling?

The researchers are not going to judge you about your height or weight. All they care about is their data and the odds of them ever seeing you again are slim. So it’s not as if they’re likely to come up to you in the supermarket one day and say “hey, didn’t you say you were 5′ 7″? You only look 5′ 6″ to me.”

But if we are lying to complete strangers about the fact that we are overweight, then we’re probably also lying to ourselves.

It’s like watching those men at the gym who stand in front of the mirror sucking their gut in as hard as they can. They glance at themselves and think “yeah, I look pretty good for my age”. But as soon as they walk away from the mirror they relax their muscles, their belly drops and they look like a naked version of porky pig. It’s not pretty believe me.

Ultimately it all boils down to this: you can’t fix a problem if you don’t acknowledge that you have a problem. Pretending you are taller than you are, or smaller than you are, or thinner than you are, or lighter than you are just means you are hiding from yourself.

Jerry got away with his little game for a few years until one of the office staff, who was taking down the information, asked if he really was 6′ 7′? Jerry looked surprised, then said “oh, I must have shrunk a little”. The tech looked at his belly and it was clear that at least one part of Jerry wasn’t shrinking.

That was the moment Jerry decided he probably should do something about his weight. Because lord knows he couldn’t do anything about his height.

How many times have you thought “Oh my giddy aunt, what was I thinking?” after you have made a decision that was – in retrospect – clearly a big, fat blunder. We’ve all done it. Bought a shirt, dress, pair of trousers that at the time seemed like a good idea but after you have taken them home and looked at them a second time, thought “dear god, purple velvet flairs! Why, why dear lord!”

Well the reason may not be that you suddenly lost your mind, it may be that your mind simply gave up and took the easy way out.

Mind what you do

A fascinating article in the Sunday New York Times magazine – To Choose is to Lose – explores the science behind why we make decisions, particularly why we make bad ones. It shows how we have a limited ability to keep making good, thoughtful, well-balanced decisions. That the more decisions we make in a single day the more we deplete our brain’s ability to make good ones so that by the end of the day, or at the end of a long stretch of forced decision making, we simply go for one of a few options, either decide not to decide, or go for the easiest option – which is not always the best one.

It explains an awful lot about why decisions we make turn out to be bad ones even if our intentions are good. Our brains are just tired and running low on energy so they switch to an energy-saving mode by making quick, poorly, thought out choices.

Fueling your brain

Decision overload

One of the keys to keeping your brain sharp, or at least sharper, is to keep it fueled (it’s like a muscle and needs energy to be able to function well) and that means eating well. Which may be one of the reasons why so many people on a diet fail to stick with it. It’s fairly straight forward. If you think about it, when you are on a diet you spend the entire day making decisions about what to eat or not eat, and you spend a lot of time telling yourself not to make bad choices – not to eat that cake, that chocolate, that extra cheesy pizza. To lose weight on a diet you have to constantly make better choices about what you eat. But to keep making those choices you need to eat to fuel your brain so that it functions well. Lack of food = poor choices = falling off the diet wagon.

Food for thought

That doesn’t mean you can’t manage to stick with a diet,  and it may be the reason why people who graze – eating healthy food, in small amounts, throughout the day – do better at losing weight than people who stick to the more traditional three-square meals a day.

It also may help explain why at the end of the day it’s probably not a good idea to make monumental decisions about anything more complicated than whether to have one or two olives in your martini. You may wake up to regret the results.

Remember a gal named Ashley Pelman? No, of course not, there’s no reason why you should. But you may remember what she did. She sued McDonalds, claiming that unknown ingredients and processing methods in the fast-food chain’s french fries, Chicken McNuggets and Filet-O-Fish sandwich had made her fat and contributed to her health problems.

A judge eventually threw out the suit saying it was ridiculous, that any reasonable person would have known that eating large quantities of foods that are high in fat and salt and sugar was not good for you.

Which led me to wonder who Ahmose-Meryet-Amon could have sued when she developed heart disease and clogged arteries. Ahmose-Mervet-Amon (AMA for short) was a resident of Thebes in Egypt. In 1540. BC. That’s more than 3,500 years ago. Scientists recently did a computer scan of AMA’s mummified remains and found clear evidence of clogged arteries and heart disease.

The researchers, from Al Azhar University in Cairo, scanned 51 other mummies and found similar signs of heart disease in 43 of them.

Clearly then heart disease is an age old problem, one not invented by McDonalds – even if they did develop a much faster and more effective way to clog those arteries than the ancient Egyptians. But back then it was a disease that was almost certainly a bigger problem among the elite than the poor. That’s because the elite of AMA’s time lived as most Americans of all classes do now.They had a pretty sedentary lifestyle – no daughter of a Pharaoh is going to dirty her fingers building pyramids – and lived high on the hog. Literally. A diet heavy in pork and beef and mutton and other fatty meats meant that their ancient arteries ended up with a very modern look. Clogged.

They had another thing going for them. Being rich not only meant food and plenty of it, it also meant they were less likely to die of the infections that killed so many other poorer Egyptians. In a sense they were lucky enough to live to be old enough to die of heart disease.

It’s ironic isn’t it that a teenager from the Bronx and a princess from ancient Egypt both ended up with the same problem. Caused by the same lifestyle. Too much fat, too little exercise. And of course the solution for both of them was the same. Eat less, exercise more.

AMA could have swum a few laps around the Nile – watch out for those crocodiles AMA – and Ashley could have done the same in the East River. Neither did.

AMA could have gone for a camel ride around the palace gardens or played a vigorous game of sand hockey using palm tree branches as sticks (not a lot of grass out there). Ashley could have joined a gym, gone for a run, or bought a myriad of different exercise machines that she saw watching TV infomercials.

In short, the ordinary person today has the same options that the ancient royalty had. And the same consequences when they chose to do nothing.  So even if you can’t live like a king, at least you can die like one.

Oh, Ashley did have one advantage over AMA. She could hire a lawyer to sue McDonalds. There were no lawyers in ancient Egypt so AMA had no one to blame but herself.

Oh, and next time you see a sculpture or hieroglyphic of a Pharaoh or Egyptian princess and they look thin and lovely, forget it. That’s the 3500 year old equivalent of photo shop, air-brushing the truth. The truth is they probably looked pretty much like all the fat folk you see wandering around the US today.

Most of my clients want to have better self esteem or lose weight.  These are two giant hurdles that seem to plague so many of us as we pursue our goal to happiness!  Some people go on diets that “guarantee” melting the pounds away.  I know one gal who just couldn’t lose the baby fat from her last pregnancy.  When I asked how old the baby is, she said, “Twenty-Two!”

People have been losing the same pounds for years. I know, because I have too!

It seems that there are times when I feel great because I lost those pesky 8 pounds and can comfortably fit into my clothes again.  Time marches on and those 8 pounds are back. And they brought 2 new friends!  Here we go again, knocking off the pounds over and over.

You Believe What You Want To Believe!

Recently, I was talking with some folks and each of them said they eat healthy.  Really? One of my friends only eats non-fat foods, but she eats a lot of processed snacks.  Another friend eats well at breakfast and dinner, but it’s a total free for all for snacks. And another friend really watches her diet except for “Special” occasions, and there seem to be a lot of those!

So it got me to thinking,

We all believe we are eating correctly and only go off the diet once in a while, but when we do the pounds add up.  Meryl Streep, who is a fit size 14, looks great, and has commented that as women age they naturally put on a few pounds.  In fact, the average woman adds around 10 -20 lbs every 10 years.

So if you are fit at forty you are looking at weighing 20 to 40 more pounds when when you are 60!  Right!  So how do we keep the weight off, look good, but be good shape?  Not too thin, not too fat, actually just right and healthy!

The key is making a decision and being realistic.  Are you really eating healthy, do you have too many “Special” occasions?  I mean, get real.  For me, the reality is I am always falling off the wagon and climbing back on.  I am always correcting, finding success and having to correct again.  I’ll never be as thin as Gwyneth Paltrow…but maybe she thinks she’s over-weight sometimes too.

Help Is On The Weigh!

I read an article in CNN Health about a woman, Anita Mills, who weighed 382 pounds and had been overweight all her life.  Then she lost 232 pounds in 2 years. That’s right, 232 pounds in 2 years. How you ask?  What finally made her lose the weight?

One day Anita took her diabetic mother to the doctor and as the Dr. was talking to her mother about all the options she could use to control the diabetes and live longer, her mother said, “I’ll try them all to save my life.”

It was at that moment that Anita realized how brave her mother was and by contrast how she, Anita, was actually killing herself by eating.  Seeing her mother make a decision to save her life was the trigger Anita needed to save her own.

That’s the day Anita took this picture: On the left, (Yes, that is the same woman!) and on the right is a picture of Anita after she lost 232 pounds without crackpot diets, stomach staples, or fads.

Anita followed 4 simple tips to lose the weight.

1-  Eat 8 ounces of food every 3 hours

2- No sugary drinks

3- Do not skip meals

4. Do not tell anyone what you are doing!

You see, Anita made a decision and stuck too it.  She did it for herself, it took 2 years but she has gained a life time!  Go Anita!

Have you ever heard about someone who had a heart bypass or a heart attack and the story always goes, “Wow, one of  Jane’s arteries was 90% blocked and the other was 80% blocked.  It’s always so dramatic you wonder how the person could have been walking around with such blocked arteries.  The difference is, “Good” and “Bad” cholesterol!  Which do you have, good or bad?

You want to have a lot of the so-called good cholesterol, HDL  because it seems to protect against heart attack.  Most medical experts believe that it carries cholesterol through the blood stream back to the liver, some experts believe that HDL actually gathers the plaque that the “bad” LDL left in the walls of the arteries and veins and slows the build up.  That’s right, LDL is bad because the cholesterol builds up and slowly constricts the blood flow to the heart and the brain.

Donate Blood and You Get a Free Cholesterol Reading Too!

You can check your cholesterol for free!  When I donate blood the Blood Centers of the Pacific Blood Bank sends me information about the level of my cholesterol.  They don’t break it out into “good” cholesterol, HDL, high density lipoprotein and “bad” LDL, low density lipoprotein but it will tell you your over all cholesterol level which should be under 200.

So I was very surprised  the last time I donated blood  and checked my levels of cholesterol it was really high!  I knew I had to do something about it unless I wanted to be like “Jane”, so I went to the Dr. who promptly wrote me a prescription for Lipitor, the well known cholesterol lowering drug, with a number of possible side effects.  In fact, Lipitor has so many possible side effects that the fast talking voice at the end of the commercial almost takes a full 1/3 of the commercial to read the list, really, really fast.

“Don’t take this if you are overweight, have blue eyes, are pregnant, know anyone who is pregnant, are the son or daughter of anyone who is pregnant or can even spell the word pregnant.”

It’s not just Lipitor, but many prescribed statins have possible side effects.  Side effects like muscle pain, liver damage, digestive problems, constipation, diarrhea,nausea, rash or flushing, some researchers are studying the link of  statins to memory loss and even Lou Gerig’s Disease.    So when the Dr. prescribed Lipitor to take down my cholesterol level, I reminded her of all  the possible side effects, but she said not to worry, she would keep track of my liver health by taking blood tests every few months.  I wasn’t sold on the idea, but I thought I’d give it a try.

It’s Always About The Money!

I don’t like to take pills!  No one does right? However, my cholesterol was extremely high and I thought, “Better get this down quickly” and since I didn’t know any pregnant people I thought maybe I’d try the prescription, because I have tried just about everything else.  I eat meat, but not often, I exercise 5 or 6 days a week 1 hour at least, I walk up and down the hills of San Francisco sometimes 3 times a day!  I am committed to staying healthy through exercise and good eating habits.  Besides my mother in law is 84 and she walks up and down the hills of Sausalito and I am convinced that the exercise and her diet have kept her healthy and physically fit.  However, with all that said, I still had through the roof cholesterol.  So I rationalized the risks and voted for the benefits.

It wasn’t till I went to pick up my new pills that the risks really won!  The bill for a 3 month supply of Lipitor was $646.00 dollars!  Right!  I immediately recalculated the risk factor, the idea that once prescribed, it is hard to wean yourself off of the prescription and finally the cost to my funds.   I just said “No! You can restock these pills!”

Live As If  Your Life Depended On It!

I really went to work to find out all the foods that lower cholesterol and I cut out most of the foods that raise it.  I found Chinese Black Fungus mushrooms which are thought to lower cholesterol, I begain eating more vegetables like kale and beets, I chewed on walnuts and chopped up avacado for lunch and when I was out for dinner I didn’t always choose a meat dish.

In a month my cholesterol was 70 points lower!  Yes!

There are some side effects though,

I finally fit into my skinny jeans! 

Trying to eat a healthy, balanced diet is hard enough without stores messing with your mind. But that’s what it feels like whenever I go shopping for something as simple as a can of tomatoes.

I was in Whole Foods recently, buying ingredients for dinner. Ordinarily I’d go for natural ingredients but this recipe called for a can of crushed tomatoes, so I started looking for one that was low in sodium. First you have to find the nutrition label on the back, then you have to whip out the calculator because nothing is ever quite as simple as it seems and certainly never as simple as it should be.

A recipe for disaster

The first can I picked up said that each portion in the can contained 7 percent of the daily recommended intake of sodium. Then I looked at the top of the label and saw there were 11 portions in the can. Eleven portions, really? So if I used the whole can in the dish that would be 77% of the daily recommended amount of sodium in it.

The second can had only 6 percent of the daily recommended amount of sodium, but there were 12 servings in the can. Same size can, different number of servings in the can. At least according to Whole Foods. And they should know. It was one of their in-house 365 store brand products.

Salt of the earth

So I looked at other cans. Same story. Different kinds of tomato (crushed, diced, peeled, whole) in the same size can all had different numbers of servings per can. The greater the number of servings, the higher the amount of sodium.

It’s almost as if they were trying to trick consumers. Hard to imagine I know. Yet, it felt as if they were trying to make people feel they were buying a product that was lower in sodium than it actually was.

Because I wasn’t in a hurry, and was just buying for two, I had time to check the labels. But imagine a busy mum or dad, racing around the store, trying to get all the groceries needed for the week while keeping their kids hands off the candy or out of lord knows what else. Odds are they won’t have the time to read all the labels. End result they feed their family a product that has way more sodium than they need, and way more than is good for them.

Sodium tedium

This is not some minor issue either. A high-sodium diet is one of the leading contributors to high blood pressure and can put you at greatly increased risk of a heart attack or stroke.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the stores treated you with a degree more respect and labeled their products with a degree of consistency, so that from week to week and product to product you had a better sense of just exactly what it is you are buying.

Well, it would be nice, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

That’s one more reason why I tend to shop around the outsides of the aisles, where all the fresh produce is, and skip the interior. Because clearly that’s where they do their best to hide what it is you are really buying.

There are many ways to try and lose weight. Most of them fail. But now, thanks to Sarah Palin, there’s a new weight loss method and so far it’s showing tremendous success.

Now, I’m not talking about using Sarah Palin as a role model or having people follow her eating habits, though based on a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal she does eat well, saying: “My family and I eat a healthy diet heavy in wild Alaskan seafood, moose, caribou and fresh fruit”

Fishy politician

Political motivation

No, I’m talking about using Sarah as a motivational tool. That’s what two women I know, let’s call them “Fran” and “Katy”, did.

Now, Fran and Katy had been trying to lose weight for a big event coming up. They wanted to look cute and feel better so they went the usual diet and exercise route, and like most people who tried that it worked for a while but then they couldn’t maintain it and ended up putting the weight back on.

Then, either in a moment of desperation or inspiration, they came up with the “Sarah Palin Diet”. They vowed to lose 20lbs each or they would donate $1,000 to Palin’s Political Action Committee. And then they started out, afresh, on their diet.

Now, Fran and Katy both really really dislike Palin. In fact, they think she’s bonkers. So the idea of giving her one thousand dollars of their own hard-earned money really helped motivate them to stick with their diet this time.

Find your own foil

The beauty of a scheme like this is it can work for everyone. If you are a fan of Palin you can chose some other political figure. If you don’t care about politics you can chose a celebrity. In fact, regardless of political, religious or any other persuasion, there is always someone you really dislike and you can use them as the intended recipient of your cash. If you hate your Uncle Bob – and who doesn’t – you could use him as your motivation and just imagine walking up and putting $1,000 into his fat, greasy palm, seeing his gap-toothed smile leering back at you, as he uses his other hand to push his sweaty comb-over hairdo back in place. If that doesn’t work for you then nothing will.

As for Fran and Katy. Palin came through for them. They lost the weight before the big date and didn’t have to send anything to her.

Seems having someone they couldn’t stomach helped motivate them to keep stuff out of their stomach.

Over the years I have put some pretty disgusting things into my mouth – jellied eels is probably the single most appalling thing I’ve ever eaten; a blend of jello, gelatin and skanky rancid fish. But when I read about a new sandwich being sold in Washington DC called the Luther Vandross, I almost gagged. It’s mind bogglingly horrible.

Consult your physician before eating

Now, you are probably asking yourself “How bad can a sandwich really be?” Well listen to this description taken from EndlessSimmer, a website devoted to food and eating. The Luther is “a house-made brioche donut,  glazed in savory maple-chicken  a jus and topped with warm pieces of oven-baked pecans. While that sounds like a meal already, the brioche is cut in half and stuffed with a hunk of buttermilk fried chicken and wedges of applewood smoked bacon.”

By the way, that’s not your mouth that is watering, it’s just that a description of that much fat and grease is turning you into a drooling fool.

Legend has it that Luther Vandross, the wonderfully soulful R&B singer, created the original sandwich. That might explain some of his health problems that included diabetes and high blood pressure, both linked to bad diet and being overweight. Vandross died in 2005 at the young age of 54, of a heart attack.

Do you really want to eat a sandwich named after the man it killed?

The website EndlessSimmer recently named the Luther the #1 best new sandwich in America. And this being America of course it created a stamped outside ChurchKey, the restaurant that created it. So much so that one recent Sunday the line stretched around the block and people got demonstrably upset when it sold out before they got theirs.

So, in Egypt people are fighting for basic freedoms, the right to speak, the right to choose their own future, the right to be able to feed their family; while in DC we are fighting over the right to get our share of the fattest, greasiest, most stomach engorging sandwich in recent history.

Do you get a sense that something is wrong here, that we have lost our sense of proportion or perspective?

God, Bless America!  Please!

I gave up coffee once for lent – well, coffee, tea and all other caffeinated beverages – and it was one of the hardest things I ever did. Seven weeks without a cuppa joe. But now, thanks to Starbucks, I could say I’m only going to have one cup the entire time – and still have way more than I need.

You might have read about the new serving size that Starbucks is unveiling; it’s the “trenta” iced coffee. And it’s massive, 31 ounces of milk and coffee and sugar and whatever else you want to put in it. 31 ounces. That’s incredible.

A normal sized cup of coffee is considered to be around 8 ounces. That means the Trenta is almost four times as big as normal. And presumably it has four times the sugar and fat content assuming you put in a proportionate amount of milk and sweeteners.

That’s a lot of extra calories to be pouring down your throat every day. Let’s take a look at the numbers – and these are based on Starbucks’ own calculations:

• Trenta with non-fat milk = 190 calories
• Trenta with 2% or soy milk = 220 calories
• Trenta with whole milk = 230 calories

Assuming you don’t make any other changes in your life, those extra 230 calories mean you might gain almost 2 pounds a month, or more than 20 pounds a year. That’s a lot of extra weight just from one cup of coffee!

We all too readily make the mistake of thinking that drinks are simply items we use to quench our thirst or boost our energy. Often they do that but they also do a lot more, such as add on extra calories without adding on any extra nutritional benefit.

Not to mention the extra caffeine. And you thought you were already buzzed!

Kids stuff

In a way it’s not surprising that companies like Starbucks can get us to drink Trentas or other ridiculously supersized beverages. We’re suckers for all that fat and sugar.

Throw in a dollop of salt and you’ve got the three most popular tastes in America. And it seems we learn that lesson very early in life.

A new study, published in the journal Appetite, finds that children first develop their taste preferences at home – no surprise there really – and that by the time they reach preschool they have already learned then to identify brands that deliver those three tastes, namely salt, sugar and fat.

Now the study is quite complex so you can go and read the results yourself but the bottom line is that once kids had developed a preference for salt, sugar and fat they also developed a preference for flavor-added and highly processed foods that deliver those three ingredients in an easily consumed form.

That means they very quickly learned to gravitate towards sodas that were packed with sugar or other sweeteners. They also learned that items such as cheese puffs and corn chips also fed their cravings. Put them together and you have a perfect storm of poor food choices.

And of course advertisers and marketers seemed to understand this long before the scientists figured out what was going on. So for years they have being creating packages of junky food with colorful images of animals, creatures or cartoon characters designed to appeal to kids. The end result is that if the child gets the “food” of their choice you have one happy customer. Or one very unhappy one if the parent dares to say no.

It’s no wonder so many parents are tearing their hair out for ways to help get their kids to eat a healthier diet. The kids have been primed to head for whatever is worst for them. And everywhere they go they are surrounded by items designed to feed that appetite.

It’s also no wonder that so many children, teens and adults are overweight or obese. If you start out eating junk food at a young age, then by the time you get into your 20s, 30s or 40s, a drink like the Trenta is almost second nature.

So next time you are in a coffee shop or store or anywhere and someone is trying to sell you on the supersized version of something – take a moment to think about all those extra calories, all that extra fat, and whether you even really feel like having something that monstrous washing around inside you.

If you say no, you’ll not only save yourself a few extra pounds, you’ll also save yourself a few extra dollars.

The Holiday parties are here!  Family dinners and socializing, toasting friends and family, creating and eating festive treats.  After all, it’s the holidays, right? What’s a couple of pounds? Right?  Who can say no to grandma’s pies or her Christmas cake.  Look at that buffet!  Food is all around us and special delightful nibbly things are just queuing up to join your waistline!

Temptation awaits at every table

But, who’s the boss?  Really.  Here’s a little help to get you through the holidays and still be able to get into those skinny pants. Or at least the ones without the expandable waistband.

• Eat slower – it has been proven that if you take the time to actually savour and taste the food you won’t eat as much because your taste, smell, and emotional intake will be satisfied.  You will be the boss.  You will decide to eat elegantly and enjoy the food.

• Take smaller portions – “But my plate has already been prepared”, you say?  Well, guess what?  You don’t have to “clean” your plate, the kids in Africa or China (or wherever your mom told you they were starving) will not suffer if you leave food on your plate.  You can decide to just eat a smaller portion and leave the rest.  You’re the boss.

• Trick yourself – Right, say you’re at your desk and it’s 3:00pm, your usual time to go downstairs to the coffee shop and get a cookie and wash that baby down with a deliciously sweet Mocha Grande.  You say, “but I always have it with low fat!”.   Well, instead of walking down to the cafe, walk on by and take a brisk walk out the door and down the street.  Go window shopping or just enjoy the fresh air.  When you come back upstairs you can be proud of yourself for getting some exercise, because you’re the boss.

• Choose your temptation-  Say you are at an elegant party and the hors d’oeuvers  look  fantastic.  Do you need to taste all of them? No, you don’t. Can you taste some of them?  Well, it’s up to you, how about choosing to taste 3 and pass up the rest.  You can choose because you are the boss.

Imagine – When you have made these few choices at each party, at each dinner, at each festive occasion.  You can imagine how you will be more confident because you are in charge.  You can imagine yourself in January without an extra pound or maybe you are thinner, healthier, and happier.

Imagine the power you have just by making a few choices!

I love the story about Kirk Douglas, he was giving up smoking for once and for all, but he kept one cigarette in his pocket just in case he wanted one.  When he was tempted he would take the cigarette out, look at it and say, “Who has the power, you or me?”  Right!  He was the boss and so are you!