Mummy Proves McDonalds Not To Blame – much!

by admin on May 27, 2011

Remember a gal named Ashley Pelman? No, of course not, there’s no reason why you should. But you may remember what she did. She sued McDonalds, claiming that unknown ingredients and processing methods in the fast-food chain’s french fries, Chicken McNuggets and Filet-O-Fish sandwich had made her fat and contributed to her health problems.

A judge eventually threw out the suit saying it was ridiculous, that any reasonable person would have known that eating large quantities of foods that are high in fat and salt and sugar was not good for you.

Which led me to wonder who Ahmose-Meryet-Amon could have sued when she developed heart disease and clogged arteries. Ahmose-Mervet-Amon (AMA for short) was a resident of Thebes in Egypt. In 1540. BC. That’s more than 3,500 years ago. Scientists recently did a computer scan of AMA’s mummified remains and found clear evidence of clogged arteries and heart disease.

The researchers, from Al Azhar University in Cairo, scanned 51 other mummies and found similar signs of heart disease in 43 of them.

Clearly then heart disease is an age old problem, one not invented by McDonalds – even if they did develop a much faster and more effective way to clog those arteries than the ancient Egyptians. But back then it was a disease that was almost certainly a bigger problem among the elite than the poor. That’s because the elite of AMA’s time lived as most Americans of all classes do now.They had a pretty sedentary lifestyle – no daughter of a Pharaoh is going to dirty her fingers building pyramids – and lived high on the hog. Literally. A diet heavy in pork and beef and mutton and other fatty meats meant that their ancient arteries ended up with a very modern look. Clogged.

They had another thing going for them. Being rich not only meant food and plenty of it, it also meant they were less likely to die of the infections that killed so many other poorer Egyptians. In a sense they were lucky enough to live to be old enough to die of heart disease.

It’s ironic isn’t it that a teenager from the Bronx and a princess from ancient Egypt both ended up with the same problem. Caused by the same lifestyle. Too much fat, too little exercise. And of course the solution for both of them was the same. Eat less, exercise more.

AMA could have swum a few laps around the Nile – watch out for those crocodiles AMA – and Ashley could have done the same in the East River. Neither did.

AMA could have gone for a camel ride around the palace gardens or played a vigorous game of sand hockey using palm tree branches as sticks (not a lot of grass out there). Ashley could have joined a gym, gone for a run, or bought a myriad of different exercise machines that she saw watching TV infomercials.

In short, the ordinary person today has the same options that the ancient royalty had. And the same consequences when they chose to do nothing.  So even if you can’t live like a king, at least you can die like one.

Oh, Ashley did have one advantage over AMA. She could hire a lawyer to sue McDonalds. There were no lawyers in ancient Egypt so AMA had no one to blame but herself.

Oh, and next time you see a sculpture or hieroglyphic of a Pharaoh or Egyptian princess and they look thin and lovely, forget it. That’s the 3500 year old equivalent of photo shop, air-brushing the truth. The truth is they probably looked pretty much like all the fat folk you see wandering around the US today.

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