The Sandwich that Killed Luther Vandross

by DavalosMcCormack on February 4, 2011

Over the years I have put some pretty disgusting things into my mouth – jellied eels is probably the single most appalling thing I’ve ever eaten; a blend of jello, gelatin and skanky rancid fish. But when I read about a new sandwich being sold in Washington DC called the Luther Vandross, I almost gagged. It’s mind bogglingly horrible.

Consult your physician before eating

Now, you are probably asking yourself “How bad can a sandwich really be?” Well listen to this description taken from EndlessSimmer, a website devoted to food and eating. The Luther is “a house-made brioche donut,  glazed in savory maple-chicken  a jus and topped with warm pieces of oven-baked pecans. While that sounds like a meal already, the brioche is cut in half and stuffed with a hunk of buttermilk fried chicken and wedges of applewood smoked bacon.”

By the way, that’s not your mouth that is watering, it’s just that a description of that much fat and grease is turning you into a drooling fool.

Legend has it that Luther Vandross, the wonderfully soulful R&B singer, created the original sandwich. That might explain some of his health problems that included diabetes and high blood pressure, both linked to bad diet and being overweight. Vandross died in 2005 at the young age of 54, of a heart attack.

Do you really want to eat a sandwich named after the man it killed?

The website EndlessSimmer recently named the Luther the #1 best new sandwich in America. And this being America of course it created a stamped outside ChurchKey, the restaurant that created it. So much so that one recent Sunday the line stretched around the block and people got demonstrably upset when it sold out before they got theirs.

So, in Egypt people are fighting for basic freedoms, the right to speak, the right to choose their own future, the right to be able to feed their family; while in DC we are fighting over the right to get our share of the fattest, greasiest, most stomach engorging sandwich in recent history.

Do you get a sense that something is wrong here, that we have lost our sense of proportion or perspective?

God, Bless America!  Please!

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