It's The Holidays – The Only Thing I Exercise Is My Prerogative Not To Exercise

by DavalosMcCormack on December 22, 2010

Over the holidays it’s almost impossible to pick up a newspaper or magazine, or read a blog or health-related website, that doesn’t seem to be full of  articles and good advice about how to avoid all the pitfalls of the holiday season. You know the stuff. Don’t eat too much. Only have one desert. Eat before you go to a party. Don’t drink too much at the work Christmas party. It’s all wise and good. But to be honest. It’s a bit dull and boring.

It’s called the Holiday Season for a reason. You are on holiday. So enjoy yourself.

So. If people ask you what you are doing to avoid putting on weight this time of year, here are some ready-made excuses for you. That way you don’t have to come up with one of your own, you can just trot one of these out and carry on enjoying life.


I don’t work out because all the exercise programs say that when you start you should wear “loose-fitting clothes” and I don’t have any loose-fitting clothes!

I’ve already had a complete workout at the office because I spent the day jumping to conclusions, pulling out all the stops, bending over backwards, passing the buck, pushing my luck, dragging my heels and climbing the walls. That’s enough exercise for one day.

I checked with my doctor and he told me my heart couldn’t stand the shock of seeing how much exercise equipment or gym membership cost.

My allergies are bothering me. I’m allergic to exercise.

I read a study that said we are all born with a pre-determined number of breaths. Once we use those up we die. So I can’t exercise because it will only make me breathe faster and shorten my life.

Or the flipside of that one. It’s a proven scientific fact that for every mile you run you add one minute to your life. This means that if you keep exercising until you are 85 years old you will get to spend an extra 5 months in a nursing home at $4,500 a month. I can’t afford that.

I’m already in shape. I think round is a great shape.

Exercising is dangerous. My grandmother started a new exercise program where she walks five miles a day. That was two weeks ago. Now we have no idea where the heck she is so I have to go look for her.

I prefer to exercise early in the morning before my brain and my body figure out what’s going on.

I think if God meant me to touch my toes he would have put them further up my body.

I started exercising because I wanted to take up cross-country skiing. Then I realize the US is way too big, there’s no way I’ll ever ski across it, so I stopped.

Last time I exercised it made me spill the ice cubes right out of my glass.

So there are plenty of excuses why you can’t or won’t exercise. But there is only one good reason. Because it’s good for you. Ultimately you have to decide which is the most important.

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