People in the UK Thought They Were Funny!

by DavalosMcCormack on November 23, 2010

Did you ever hear about a scientific study where you heard the findings and thought “really, they spent time and money trying to find that” – such as the researchers at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque who studied erotic dancers (aka strippers) and found that when they were ovulating or “in heat” as serious scientists call it they made more money than when they were menstruating, so in other words when women are feeling good about themselves they put on a better show than when they feel like crap. I’m serious. This was a real study.  Anyway, there’s obviously a bunch of researchers in England who thought “Damn, we should have spent our money on strip clubs” because the best they could come up with was to go through 1,000 jokes to compile what they thought were the best jokes ever, and then asked 36,000 which they liked best.

Yesterday we gave you the top five. Here’s some more

A young blonde is distraught because she thinks her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home early and finds her husband in bed with a gorgeous brunette. She pulls out the gun and holds it up to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging her not to shoot herself. The blonde looks at him and says “shut up idiot, you’re next.”

A man goes to the gym and asks a personal trainer “Can you teach me to do the splits?” The trainer said “How flexible are you?” the man said “I can’t make Tuesdays.”

Police arrested two kids. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.

A man goes to see his doctor and says “Doc, I can’t stop singing “The Green Green Grass of Home”. The doctor said “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” The man asked “Is it common.” The doctor said “It’s not unusual.”

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

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