Why Beer, Fried Food and Chocolate Are Good For You!

by DavalosMcCormack on August 16, 2010

We are surrounded by information and advice and suggestions about how to lead a better, healthier, happier life. And yet so many people are not only overweight but also miserable. So, maybe it’s time we tried a different approach. Here is an alternative prescription for a “better” life – courtesy of myunusual.com –   So maybe we should give up on offering people “good” advice and just give them advice they want to hear!

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?



Powerful heart

Heart healthy



A:   Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…  Don’t waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.   Want to live longer? Take a nap.

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Q:   Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and  vegetables?



Cow

Moooo



A:   You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of  your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

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Q:   Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A:   No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

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Q:   How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A:   Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q:   Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A:   You’re not listening….Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

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Q:   Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A:   Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q:   Is chocolate bad for me?

A:   Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It’s the best feel-good food around!!

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Q:   Is swimming good for your figure?



Whale swimming

Sperm whale



A:   If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales.

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Q:   Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A:   Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape! !

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