I fell in love with horse racing when I was a 7 year old kid and my uncle and aunt took me and my cousin to the Curragh racetrack in Ireland. It was the wildest, most colorful thing I’d ever seen. Gorgeous horses, jockeys almost as small as me, and excitement all around.
I also loved the fact that so many of the horses had silly names. Well, it’s been a long time since I was 7 years old but horses names are still just as silly. And after a long week I thought it would be fun to end it with some of the sillier horse names around.
What does this have to do with health? Well, it’s healthy to laugh, so go ahead.
These are all real horses names by the way. The comments are mine.
Givemeanothername = I could see why they’d want that
Better Than sex = I suggest you are doing it wrong then
Iwinyougetnothing – story of my life
Wearthefoxhat – read this with an Irish accent and it makes a lot more sense
Sofa Can Fast – this was banned once the racing authorities figured out what it meant (say it fast and you’ll get it too)
Onewaytickettothegluefactory – cruel but true
Oh No, It’s My Mother-in-Law – Bet that went down well at family gatherings
Maythehorsebewithyou – star wars fans
Sorry About That – how the horse feels after the race
Bare Naked – best said when mentioning the jockey as in “Peter Jones is riding Bare Naked”
Look Behind You – coz I’m coming up fast presumably
Really Fast Horse – well, if you have to say it you probably aren’t
Shergar’s Missing Foot – odd, peculiar and strangely charming
Bridle of Frankenstein = very creative
Gaits of Heaven, Gaits of Hell, Mane Attraction, A Tail of Intrigue = stop them before they pun again
Eats Money Makes Manure – me, bitter? Not at all
Sotally Tober – love that one
Why Im Broke – which is probably how most race horse owners feel, and many of us who like to place a bet on them.
