Your Pet is Trying to Kill You!

by DavalosMcCormack on April 9, 2009

Leona Helmsley was murdered. By her dog! No, it’s true. I have the proof. The dog, whose name is Trouble was left $12 million in Helmsley’s will when she died.

Coincidence? I think not.

And Trouble is not the only pet actively working to get rid of its owner. A shocking new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that there are thousands of pet owners whose lives are in danger.

The CDC report, published in its Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, shows that every year an average of 86,629 Americans end up in a hospital Emergency Department after a fall that was caused by a dog or cat.

The researchers say 88 percent of the fall-related injuries were caused by dogs, and that women were 2.1 times more likely to be injured than men.

The most vulnerable group were, not surprisingly, those 75 years and older.

The most common diagnosis, accounting for about one third of the injuries, was fracture, followed by bruises, sprains and lacerations.

Most of the injuries occurred in the home – although about 26 percent of dog-related injuries came during walks. Not surprising if you’ve ever seen how quickly a dog can decide it needs to go in a different direction, right right now. When there’s a lamp post that just has to be peed on,¬†even a chihuahua can drag someone the size of Rush Limbaugh half way down the block.

Around 11 percent of the injures occurred when people were chasing their pet, and around one third of dog and two-thirds of cat-related injuries were sustained simply by tripping over the wee beastie. I bet that never happens to owners of Great Danes or Irish Wolfhounds!

Now, if you figure that some 43 million American individuals and families have dogs, and some 37 million have cats, that’s a lot of potentially dangerous situations every day of the week.

So, if you are one of those people who has a cat or dog and you recently changed your will to benefit your beloved animal, you might want to be extra careful around Fido or Fluffy.

After all, you don’t want to end up like Leona Helmsley, and come to a Trouble-some end.

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