Not to State the Obvious – but…..

by DavalosMcCormack on December 17, 2008

The other day I was at the gym and in one shower stall was one of those foldable yellow caution signs, with the words “Wet floor”. And I’m thinking, “it’s a shower, of course the floor is wet.” It’s like those coffee cups that have a warning “Danger, liquids inside may be hot”. I would bloody well hope so.

But when it comes to stating the obvious some medical researchers seem to be way ahead of the rest of us

For instance, do we really need a study to tell us that the reason some students put on weight is because they drink more beer and do less exercise than when they were in high school? Duh! Yet someone did that study (yes Indiana University in Bloomington, you know who you are)

And here are some other wonderful examples of research from the University of Duh!

  • A study in the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly, found that people who were sexually harassed at work are not as happy as people who are not harassed. They also show less commitment to the company and do a poorer job. Wow. Who would have thunk it!
  • Here’s something else none of us would have guessed. It comes from the clever folks at Oxford University and their Swedish chums at Gothenburg University who really should know better. They found out that middle aged men like to chase younger women more than they like to chase older women. And someone gave them money to do that research?
  • Another piece of ground breaking research comes from the wonderfully named European Union Scientific Committee on Emerging and Newly Identified Health Risks (SCENIHR). They found that listening to loud music on a personal music player over a long period of time can damage your hearing.  Quite how the notion that putting tiny speakers in your ears and then playing loud music really really close to your ear drum could damage your hearing qualifies as a newly identified problem is beyond me. But then maybe that’s why I’m not a research scientist.
  • Here’s another one. College students who don’t believe that prescription drug abuse is risky are ten times more likely to abuse prescription drugs than students who believe it is harmful. At least the researcher in this study, from the Center for Substance Abuse Research at the University of Maryland, had the decency to admit that her findings were, in her words, “not rocket science.”
  • And finally, children who grow up in homes where smoking is not banned and not stigmatized are more likely to smoke than children who grow up in homes that have smoking bans. The little rascals.
  • OK, I lied, one last one. Couldn’t resist this. The journal Pediatrics had a study entitled “What’s in a Smile? Maternal Brain Responses to Infant Facial Clues.” As Alanis Morissette so wisely put it “what it all boils down to” is that a smiling baby makes a mother happy. Finally we have the answer. Now if only we could figure out what the question was.

So if you ever really wonder what you are going to do with your life you could always postpone the decision by becoming a researcher and telling people what they already know.

Hey, it beats working for a living.

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